Philosophy of suffering and problems.

In every problem there is an opportunity, in every bit of suffering there is growth, in every negative there is a positive. It doesn't always (and most often doesnt) justify the negative, but if you can learn (I havent, but I believe it's what I need to do) to focus on the small positives and remind yourself of the growth you experience and the opportunities that have arisen, you can get through anything.

If somebody dies, there is opportunity in the family left behind to grow more accepting of death and become stronger for it, there is a space opened in their job, or their home. They can leave inheritance to their family or friends which can make a huge impact on them positively. If they died in an accident, it can cause measures to be put in place to increase the safety of others, if they were murdered, it can lead to somebody who is mentally unstable and dangerous being removed from society. There are so many small positives that can be taken from it.

If you lose a loved one through separation, not death, then you can look back on the relationship and see your mistakes, see how you were influenced, how you ought to be, how you can grow. You can grow in wisdom and understanding of yourself and of others, choosing a better partner next time. There is an opportunity for you to start new relationships, friendships, find new experiences.

In some situations the small good is hard to see, but it's always there, and if it fails to justify the bad that has occurred, then let it at least allow others to realise that there are people in this hopeless situation, and something can be done to either fix it, or help prevent it from happening again.

This tool can be used to allow one to progress positively from a bad experience. In the worst situations, a person needs to reach out for help, and there lies an opportunity for someone to show their morality and help, even if helping consists simply of listening to the person in need.

When you look around you in the world, there is suffering everywhere. You can be a sadist and believe that the world is a hopeless place, or you can recognise that in each and every small good, you or someone else has an opportunity of some kind.

Learning to recognise that opportunity and take something from it, you can make the tiniest difference to the world. The world will never be perfect, but that doesn't mean you should ever stop trying to make it as damn near perfect as you possibly can, within your limited power as an insignificant person, you can save lives, offer hope, make people happy, and live satisfied that you are a good person.

The Meaning

Saying 'I Love You' is my attempt to remind you that I long for a future with you, for your happiness, for you. That I am filled with a feeling of desire and attraction towards you. You are my first priority and my most important long term goal. Having you in my life makes me happy and I hope that the same is true for you.

I offer this Love freely, with hope rather than expectation for your feelings in return. I understand that you are free to love me but also to withdraw from it and go your own way. I wish you to be free to be yourself and to do what you want to do.

I do not hold onto expectations of how our future will pan out, it is but a hope. By declaring that I Love You, I am not declaring that I have ownership or control over you or that you are in any way obligated to remain by my side. Instead, I wish that you accept my Love and do with it as you desire.

It is in Loving you, exactly as you are now and not wishing or hoping for what you will become in the future, that I offer myself to you. I do, however, support your desire for growth and understand change, accepting that change is both inevitable and unknown.

I respect your right to have your own feelings, opinions and desires and respect your need to make your own decisions and learn your own lessons. I will be here to be called upon if and when you need me and will not arbitrarily impose my own terms on your decisions.

I seek to understand my own emotions and feelings and to communicate them to you as best I can with humility. I will seek to be open and honest about just about everything.

I accept a responsibility to you to be reliable and strong in the face of difficulties. I have a responsibility to remain consistently reliable and to make efforts to improve your life now, and your future.

My ultimate priority in this life is that you be happy. If you'd be happier without me, you are welcome to leave and find your happiness elsewhere. If you achieve this I will be glad for you.

I appreciate that we are two separate people, choosing perhaps to walk hand-in-hand for this time and I enjoy the moments we share together. We will always be two separate people but in saying 'I Love You' I am attempting to narrow the gap between us.

No other three words do I mean so truly, so deeply, so powerfully. When I say 'I Love You' I mean to reinforce and remind you of everything we have that is so very special to me. This feeling won't ever disappear. It can become dormant or shift into another form of love, but it wont leave.

The words 'I Love You' are the everyday reminder of my loyalty to you and are my promise to uphold the values set by those words. They are a promise that my feelings for you match what is described above and more. They are a reminder of the many ways in which I strive for perfection for you. You are everything to me.

I Love You

Not Afraid

I'm not afraid of who might see,

Who might know, or who'll judge me.

I'm not in control of what goes on inside,

This feeling is now much too potent to hide.

A long time unsure, so full of denial,

Not willing to accept what I'd known for a while.

What could have been more, if we'd met differently,

Just why can't it be how we want it to be?

There's challenges to face, and not much is known,

We can fight on each day, not ever alone.

Whatever happens now, I'll never regret,

It's not perfect by far but it's yours and mine yet.

There's room to grow, and each other to learn,

A lifetime of love and happiness to earn.

Trust in me now, this is only the start,

Come what may, I'll never break your heart.

I Want To Be With You

"I want to be with you."

That small sentence alone doesn't even begin to do justice to the meaning that can be put behind it when somebody tells you, with every piece of their heart, that they want to be with you. It means more than a desire for your presence, but also that they want to hold you in their arms tonight, kiss your lips right now, stroke your hair and feel your presence as you lie there in the wondrous feeling. Wanting to feel your skin against theirs, your breath on their neck, your hands in theirs. Wanting to be your partner for life. It can say that they crave being with you, but not only that, they long to spend days with you, months, years, a lifetime. To spend days going for long walks on the beach, in the forest, through the city, everywhere, anywhere. Wanting to waste mornings away, just lying in bed, watching movies or cuddling up together, keeping each other warm. To spend evenings going for romantic dinners with you or enjoying quiet nights in, making love to you, going on wild nights out and having hot passionate sex. Wanting to get home from stressful hard days working and have you there. Just being there would make everything so much better. Wanting to be there when you need them, when you're down, comfort you, work with you through everything. Wanting so much to share the times when you are on top of the world, when you'd both just want to shout and scream to the world about how much Love you feel. Wanting to see the days when everything just seems to feel right, like everything is in place, how it should be, and feel the most secure and comfortable its possible to feel. Having the desire to take care of you when you're sick, miss you when you're away, calm you when you're stressed. To to see the world with you, ride the fastest roller coasters and river rapids with you, lie out on the beaches everywhere and anywhere with you. Reaching the ultimate in Love for you, which can grow with time from this point forever. To marry you. To have children with you, love them, look after them, keep them safe and teach them what you can. Wanting to have your own house with a garden, your own life, your own family. Wanting to get to know you in the most intimate detail, and Love you for everything you are. Wishing you to be their past, present and future, their life, their objective; an end in yourself. Wanting to be with you in every single way, with every single piece of their being, physically, mentally, emotionally, and more. If somebody tells you they Love You, and want to be with you, don't ever underestimate what that might mean.

Transition

Low hopes from the start, yet still disappointed,

I can't wait to just go home.

I don't understand, there was nothing I wanted,

Yet broken, rejected, alone.

Hoping the world would swallow me up,

Feeling so empty right here.

I try to know why, how I fell, so abrupt.

I wait for hope to appear.

Whenever I'm low, I know what will help;

To talk to the friends I need.

Deeply I think, and I ponder myself,

"I'm not who I'm trying to be."

That realisation is far from minute,

How can I be who I'm not?

I'll kill off this problem, right at its root,

And release all the fears that I've got.

How high can I jump? How far can I run?

How long will this energy last?

Until I'm all spent, I will not be done,

And the pain in my heart, it dies fast.

My legs are on fire, my heard beating madly,

My body is aching throughout.

Fighting the pain that I needed so badly,

I've had too much to think about.

I stop to recharge, and think for some time,

Nobody at all knows where I am.

I see my mistakes and I know how I might

Do more for myself when I can.

I know what I want, no reason to deny,

Each time that I do, I see,

I don't know why I live in this lie,

I want to be me, to be free.

On top of the world, inside so strong,

Only challenge is time and space.

All I could want, was mine all along,

In patience it'll fall into place.

I'm so damn in Love, I'm in such good health,

I have no reason at all to cry.

I've only to wait, I have spiritual wealth,

Why want any more than what's mine?

Shinedown

I've created the sound of madness, wrote the book on pain,

Somehow I'm still here to explain.

Staring down the barrel of a .45,

Swimming through the ashes of another life.

There is no real reason to accept the way that things have changed,

Someone save me if you will,

And take away all these pills,

And please just save me if you can,

From my blasphemy, and my wasteland.

What ever happened to the young man's heart.

Swallowed in pain as he fell apart.

If you only knew

I'd sacrifice my beating heart before I lose you.

The only thing that I still believe in is you.

If you only knew.

I never thought you'd slip away,

I guess I was just a little too late.

I've done the best I can.

To make you realise, this is my life,

I hope you understand.

I'm not angry, I'm just saying,

Sometimes goodbye is a second chance.

I don't wanna live, to waste another day,

Underneath the shadow of mistakes I made.

I don't wanna fall, and say I lost it all,

Maybe there's a part of me that hit the wall.

Oh, take your time, don't move too fast,

Trouble will come, and it will pass.

Oh, don't you worry, you'll find yourself,

Follow your heart, and nothing else.

Be a simple kind of man,

Be something you love and understand.

Coping

My Love, I want you here by my side, the distance makes it hard to cope.

I long for a day I can call you my own, some day I wish we'd elope.

I'd do any thing and take any risk, to have you right here at my side,

To wait any time, to meet any task, for you I would do it with pride.

This emotional void becomes harder to hide, no intimate touch for the time.

Above what I feel I must know where I stand, I wonder when you could be mine.

Potatoes

I thought I'd never lose my deepest of fears,

Be unable to love for all of my years.

My feelings scared me right down to the bone,

Through denial I knew I'd be safer alone.

For months I denied, and inside I cried,

When asked how I felt, I had always lied.

My life had no meaning, lacking direction,

Just hoping one day I'd find some affection.

I knew it was right from the day that we met,

So easy, so fluent, so hard to forget.

You're silly, you're weird, you're totally mad,

It's part of your spark, and for that I'm glad.

We just seem to fit, and I cannot explain,

My fears overcome, it's hard to refrain,

From shouting and screaming all that I feel,

Fantasy now becomes more and more real.

I'm no longer scared, I love what you are,

I'll do what it takes, no matter how far.

You're so random, cute, funny and true,

But remember, potatoes are random too.

Moving on

Sometimes it's hard to pick yourself up once again,
To ignore all the failure, all the loss, but then,
It's only a matter of time, before I must find,
Something more real than can exist in my mind.

If only it was that simple, if only it was,
My head remains high and I keep on because,
Although right now it seems so far to go,
There's hope, there's belief, there's something I know.

I know I can find someone who's like me,
A good person at heart and wants to be free.
Wherever they are, I'm waiting, I'm here,
I'm ready when they are, whenever they appear.

For now, live it up, tonight let's go,
No holding back, no moving slow.
Take what I want and live how I may,
Be who I am, I've no trust to betray.

Alone

My phone sits in silence, I do not exist,
Invisible to the world, I'm shrouded in mist,
I push on forward and seek to discover,
An objective, a goal- to fight for another.

This other I seek, seems less real by the day,
Something invented, imagined to portray,
Some ideology which I can't find.
No, there is only one on my mind.

Irrational mind, I can never suppress,
I fade from whats real to cease the distress,
I wish you were here. I hope you appear,
To whisper the words of my dreams in my ear.

Thinking of a life without you, I die,
My insides turn over at the thought, I could cry,
If I told you my secret, the risk is too great,
I could lose you forever, or succumb to some fate.

Thoughts on Perception

Sight is a fallacy as explained in 'Visibility' but our other senses are just as bad if not worse. We can feel so much but none of it gives us a real indication of any real property or attribute to it. If something feels hot all that tells us is that it has particles vibrating a lot. If something feels hard, all that tells us is that it has a rigid structure. We can't actually touch anything since all we 'touch' is the energy it expels and judge what an object is based on that. Our sense of touch enables us to learn and avoid danger in an evolutionary way but is useless for determining what an object really is.

Similarly smells and tastes are just chemical reactions that help us to survive at a primeval level but are useless now. Hearing is just determining differing vibrations and guessing the source and meaning based on the direction they came from. None of our senses tell us of the reality of anything, they are simply evolutionary survival tools. Our only real method of education is our brain which is developed enough to use reason, logic, philosophy, consideration and opens an unlimited array of possibilities.

Thoughts on Nothing

When people say that 'nothing can come from nothing' or 'you can't get something from nothing' I would argue differently. Not because I believe that just anything can come from nothing, but that instead they aren't at wars with each other. Just like how I explained that sight is perception of the difference between nothing and something, the 'something' couldn't exist without 'nothing' to surround it.

Try to imagine an object with no outline. The only way an object can have no visual outline is if it is invisible. The only way for an object to have no touchable outline is for it to be untouchable. The only way for an object to have no outline in any way is by that object being non existent. The significance of this is that 'nothing' is necessary for there to be 'something'. You can't see without contrast, you can't perceive in any way (even in theory) unless you have a contrast. What is life without death (or the absence of life)? What is existence without non-existence? The answer - nothing.

Everything must have a 'nothing' counterpart for it to exist or interact in the world in any way. For example, there are two categories: 'my mobile phone' and 'not my mobile phone'. Only one object is my mobile phone and every other object isn't. So there are an infinite number of negative existences for every positive existence, or in other words, every thing is nothing and 'nothing' is everything.

Coming back to my original point, when people say that 'nothing comes from nothing' and 'you can't get something from nothing', they are just plain wrong. Everything comes from nothing. They could even be seen as paradoxical statements because nothingness and somethingness are two sides of the same coin. Either they came into existence at the same time, or 'nothing' came into existence first because somethingness can't exist on it's own.

Thoughts on Visibility

Everything is invisible. We look at things and think we see them but what we see is illusion. If I look at a wooden box, what am I seeing? I am seeing where the nothingness of the empty space surrounding it becomes a form, but what is this form? The closer I look at something the less I see it and the more it eludes me. If I look right down to the atoms and electrons then nothing is visible at all and is mostly empty space. Filled purely with energy, which is, again, invisible. I am claiming sight where in reality all I can do is perceive contrast between nothing and something, between something and something else. The observer, when he seems to himself to be observing a box, is really, if physics is to be believed, observing the effects of the box upon himself. The box itself is invisible.

Consciousness is invisible. It's probably the most well known thing in your own perception, but least known in other peoples' perceptions. It has no visual representation, only clues. It is clear to the thinker what they are thinking but nobody else has any idea at all, visually. We use consciousness all the time as the main reason we call ourselves alive but we have no empirical evidence that it even exists, it is simply so blatantly obvious that it exists that very few question it.

Sound is invisible, smells are invisible, touch is invisible, tastes are invisible and light is invisible. What we call sight, is simply the reflections of all the light bouncing off matter. We cannot see anything, we can only see a poor and false representation of reality. Sight is not real, it is an illusion. It is very useful to process our middle world of Newtonian mechanics but that process too is illusion created by our brains to help us survive.

Personality is invisible, the very essence of being a person is in no way represented visually but is in the immaterial form of that person. Just as the essence of any object is not in its physical form but in the immaterial use, contrast, existence and meaning of the object. None of those are visible.

Other things that are invisible are; logic, mathematics, language, knowledge, the past, the future, the present, thought, rationality, instincts, change - you can't see change, you can only notice that the way it was before is different from the way it is now, but you have only judged this by 'seeing' multiple perceptions that all differ slightly, power, authority, emotion, just about everything you can name is invisible.

Bliss

The times when birdsong is so sweet in your ears,
The times when it melts you away from this place,
When all worries are matched with devout hope for the years,
These are the times of true joy and pure bliss.

In the mountains and trees and rivers and the sea,
So much beauty awaits the one who strives.
Every direction you face, slowly circling, you'll see,
Every reason for the peace that survives.

No need for glory, no ambition for power,
Lust, exiled, for the time being.
For this kingdom of Love exists at this hour,
It is perfect in my dream that I'm seeing.

I'd give anything to realise this dream here on earth,
As would anyone with charitable reason,
To lay safe, with one love, beside the warm hearth,
And that kiss, such bliss, to deny it is treason.

Eternal Love

The moment comes and goes,
The tide ebbs and flows,
The season changes on cue,
Forever I'll Love you.

Nothing I need, I only desire,
All that I see is all I require,
To converse with you is to truly live,
Just to hold you- oh what I'd give.

Thinking of you is so bittersweet,
Not even knowing if we'll ever meet,
5000 miles I'd traverse for you,
I'd go there right now if you needed me to.

Heartache aside, I wish you joy and bliss,
Second to that, I long for your kiss,
But this pain is too great, too hard to bear,
My heart, so broken, in need of repair.

I speak only truth- I want you to know,
I don't know what to do, where to go,
The distance, the time, the hardship is tough,
The dream I still crave, of the life, is enough.

The moments still come and go,
The tides still ebb and flow,
The seasons still change on cue,
But never before have I felt as I do.

I Seek

Never so much have I longed as I do,
Nor been so determined to find,
The deepest and purest of Love that is true,
And be free from these weights on my mind.

In virtue, in pain, when proud and when meek,
Always there throughout joy and sorrow,
It's not a person themself that I desperately seek,
But that warmth and great hope for tomorrow.

The world feels so cold, so barren, so dead,
All life sucked right out by despair,
It's beauty but it's pain, life hung by a thread,
No one sees, no one knows, no one cares.

Deep inside, from the depths of the soul,
Hope's alive, it's impossible to kill.
It's a drive to restore and to fight for your goals,
Your most powerful weapon, your will.

How To Live

Standing by truth, refuse to regret,
Live your life for the reasons you know.
There'll always be shit that you'll want to forget,
But it's worth it, for Love, never slow.

Thought

Deep in thought we find our reason,
It grants us the way to our peace.
Peace allows us to enjoy the seasons,
In joy, our minds are released.